Eye Contact: The Unwritten Eye Contract

     Today my mom wanted to go buy a coke from Walgreens, but she made me walk with her so we could also take the dog on a short walk. I'd wait outside the store with our dog, while she went shopping for her caffeine fix of the day. As I sat outside, an old man who was selling magazines outside the store starting talking to me about my dog. I answered all of his questions he had about my dog and also listened to his stories of the various dogs he had growing up.

     Sitting there for awhile, I noticed that each time someone came out of the store he'd tell them something like "Have a nice day" or "Good afternoon", and each time he was ignored by everyone that passed by. No one even bothered to look him in the eye or nod, they just stared at the ground or straight ahead as they passed. This started to bother me immensely because obviously this nice old man did not deserve to be completely ignored by others. He was simply wishing them a good day and they couldn't even acknowledge him or say thanks. As I left the store with my mom, I continued to think about the way everyone treated this man and I realized it is actually very common in our society.
     People always try to avoid eye contact with people they view as lesser than them. When you go to the grocery store, no one really looks at the woman who is behind the check out counter or the man putting your groceries in a bag. You keep your attention focused on the monitor with the prices on it or your food as it passes through the scanner. Some may argue that they don't wish to make eye contact because it would be uncomfortable since you don't know the person well enough. Though this is a valid point, I don't believe that to be the true reasons for avoiding eye contact.

     When you make eye contact with someone for a long amount of time, you are saying with your eyes that you are equals with that person. Since they deserve your undivided eye attention for a few minutes, they deserve your respect. If you avoid making eye contact with someone, it can say two things. Either you are giving them the power in the relationship, signaling that you are too afraid of them to hold their gaze. Or you are saying that you are too important to make the time to look the person in the eye. Eye contact can tell us a lot about the relationships between people and who holds more of the power.

Do you agree that people avoid making eye contact with those they think are lesser than them? Why do we avoid eye contact with people? What does eye contact say about the relationships in your life?